Maintaining peace and balance is my ultimate goal.  At rock bottom is where I learned that my happiness is my responsibility.  Seeking happiness and validation from others was my biggest flaw.  Overstepping my self-imposed boundaries left me upset and even resentful.  Not to mention my negative body image issues.  I grew up in an environment where weight and skin color determined how you would be treated.  I always felt that my tall stature took away from my femininity  and my not so flat stomach made me unattractive.  I had been carrying these insecurities my entire life.  My first set of waist beads decorated my womb and my hips in a way that I had never seen before.  I fell in love  with the feeling of protection that they offered.

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 I wore my emotions out right and indulged in impulsive decision making.   At that moment I knew I had to make a change. This spiritual journey was a bit rocky at first, but through this process a new person had been born.  I took a different approach to happiness, what I truly needed was inside of me.  I was enough all by myself, anything else was considered a bonus. I learned the art of self-soothing.

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The ability to heal my own wounds and hold myself accountable when necessary.   I took this approach in all areas of my life, love, my career and even my platonic relationships.  I placed boundaries in areas where none existed.  I learned to sit with my thoughts and how to rationalize.  This is where I rediscovered the art of wrapping my hair.  It served as a way to protect me from outside influences.

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Growth was uncomfortable at first and it forced me to change my many self-destructive habits.  Sex and instant gratification came to the surface as well.  Sex had always served as a distraction for me.  In an effort to eliminate this, I discovered the art of self-pleasure.  Self-pleasure allowed me to no longer allow men to walk away with pieces of me they did not earn or deserve. I started to please myself, this rerouted my sexual appetite.  For once in my life I wanted more. Months later I found myself never parting away from my waist beads, wrapping my hair often and avoiding casual sex. I had mastered the art of self-soothing. Self-soothing saved my life.